7 Ways to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be.

These were the words I kept telling myself for three years.

Here’s our story…

Abraham was my first love. I met him 20+ years ago on a beautiful summer night in Iloilo City, Philippines. However, things didn’t work out, and we drifted apart. I also moved to the US, and we never saw each other again.

A few years ago, I went back to the Philippines. Our paths crossed, and we realized we still love each other. We got back together and oh yes – love was sweeter the second time around!

Much as I wanted to stay longer in the Philippines, I had to return to New York for a job opportunity. Though we were miles away from each other, we were determined to make our relationship work. Here’s what we’ve learned to survive the distance.

 

1. Keep the lines of communication open

Thank God for facetime, emails, and facebook messenger. These means of communication made it possible for us to update each other every single day.

There’s a 12-hour time difference between the Philippines and New York. Most of the time, I’ll wake up early in the morning and we will facetime each other while I’m eating breakfast (he’s having dinner on the other side of the world).

If for some reason, we weren’t able to chat with each other, we usually send messages and photos of what we did during that day.

 

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2. Find time to see each other 

I traveled around 8,506 miles every year to visit him in the Philippines. That’s approximately an 18-20 hours plane ride from New York. I only have 2-3 weeks of vacation time, so we cherished every moment we spent with each other.

If you want your relationship to grow, it is vital that you spend quality time together. The phone calls and emails are not enough to find out if you are compatible with each other.

 

3. Take Care of Yourself

Have you been staring at other couples, wishing you can be like them? Are you fighting over some issues? Did you hurt his feelings? Do you want to hold him tight and tell him you’re sorry? Are you getting frustrated?

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult. Taking care of yourself is crucial

How?

 

Love Yourself

 

There are several ways: a healthy diet, exercise, listening to your favorite music, reading uplifting books, learning a new hobby, talking to friends or counselor, etc. Do the things that help you balance your mind, body, and soul.

 

4. Stay faithful

It is said that if you truly love someone, being faithful is easy. If you’re having a hard time staying faithful, then you need to reassess why you’re still holding on to this long-distance relationship.

Staying loyal to each other is essential for your relationship to thrive and endure the test of time and distance.

 

5. Set a goal

Where is this relationship going? When can we be together? These are difficult questions to ask if you’re in the early stages of your relationship. Eventually, as your relationship grows, these questions need to be answered.

On one of my trips to see him, I was surprised upon arrival at Iloilo City International Airport when Abraham proposed to me.

 

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Of course, I said YES!

Now, you might not be ready for this yet. Maybe, you just want to spend more time together and get to know each other better. I think it is still important to set relationship goals.

 

6. Plan your next move

Let’s say you’ve talked about moving to your partner’s country next year. What’s the next step? Do you need a visa? What documents do you need to start the process? Do you need additional training or certifications to find a job in his/her country?

I wasn’t familiar with immigration laws, so I contacted a lawyer to help us plan. He discussed with me the different requirements to start the fiancé visa process. I shared this information with Abraham, and we listed the steps we needed to do to make our dream possible.

 

7. Take Action

It’s time to do something with the plan! Go ahead and apply for that visa, save money for the trip, get the training you need, etc. Brace yourself for this Big change in your life.

Abraham and I submitted all the documents needed to apply for a fiancé visa. He also prepared for his interview at the US Embassy in the Philippines.

Waiting for the result of the interview was nerve-racking. I was so happy when he called and told me that he passed!

Finally, we will be together.

 

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Are you in a long distance relationship? Any other tips you can share to survive LDR? Feel free to share your story or insights in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.

 

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49 responses to “7 Ways to Survive a Long Distance Relationship”

    • Thank you so much❤️ LDR can be challenging, but it is still possible to make it work. Though miles apart, I hope you and your sweetheart will stay strong and your love will continue to grow.

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  6. This is so sweet! I am so glad you guys get to finally be together! Also another tip I use for LDR is to NOT make rash decisions or assumptions! It will save a lifetime of arguments and create a better understanding between the two people!

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    • I totally agree on not making abrupt decisions. Our LDR journey wasn’t perfect – we also had a lot of misunderstandings. There were times we just want to give up. I’m glad that we were able to resolve things and tried to understand each other better.

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  7. I WISH someone would’ve encouraged me and my now-ex to make plans for the future when we first went long-distance (we were together for a year before I moved away). We kept focusing on the “now” instead of the “future” and it ended up driving a huge wedge between us. THank you for sharing this post! I can’t even begin to imagine how many couples it will help.

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    • Thank you so much for reading. The first time we were together (20+ years ago), we made a lot of mistakes. I think we learned so much from our past that when we got back together, we were more prepared to make things work and prepare for the future.

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  8. What a heartwarming story. I’ve always wondered what happened to your first love. Love is indeed lovelier the second time around. As you travel through this road called married, may you fulfill all your dreams and love each other more.

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  9. What a lovely love story! Time couldn’t keep you apart and neither can distance was a great post and these tips can be applied to regular distance relationships lol just being loving and super attentive and faithful great post! Great advice love your blog.

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    • Hi there, first of all, I want to thank you for following my blog. I was thinking about your comment that these tips are applicable even for those couples not in LDR. I Agree – Communication, Faithfulness, Sharing a Common Goal, etc are some of the ways to make a relationship stronger.

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  11. Great post! I was in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for just over 4 and a half years. He only recently moved in with me as he’s got a job over here now! We didn’t have as much of a distance between each other as we were both in the same country and a few hours away from each other, but it is still difficult! There were many times when I wished he could be there, but couldn’t. Great tips for anyone else that is in one, it is definitely important to treasure the moments you are together.

    Amy,
    https://creativenails.uk

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    • LDR is really tough and it can get overwhelming. It took me some time to adjust to the situation. What kept me going was being able to communicate with him everyday. And of course, the thought that in time…..we will be together again.

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  13. I used to be in a long distance relationship and it was really challenging. There were lonely nights when I would just soak my pillow with hot tears. It was frustrating until I learnt how to cope by:

    Communicating regularly
    Planning visits in advance
    Sending over thoughtful gifts
    Writing love letters
    Engaging in series of video chats
    And being realistic, determined and patient

    My relationship was so important for me that I bought a Long distance love kit. It was a wonderful experience! After that experience I had to write a post on it to help others in LDRs all over the world.

    You can read the post here:
    https://www.momentswithjenny.com/2018/07/keep-a-long-distance-relationship-alive.html

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  14. I was also in a LDR, but it never worked….
    However, we would talk with each other endlessly on the phone being in two different corners of the world with a difference of 12 hours……
    But it didn’t work..
    Nd we broke up within 3 months…
    I think the face to face talk is really important to continue the relationships……
    In my opinion, LDRs hardly work 1% out of 100.
    Except live conversation, nothing’s gonna work out…..
    That’s my confession. 🙂🙂.

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  17. I think LDR for me is working…..we are now on 1.6 year…..though were just 1 yr and counting in a relationship…i could say that HE is the one…..everyday we had a communication……though sometimes we misundertands each other but at the end of the day we reconciled…….so much inspired with your blog it really helps a lot for our relationship recently……

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  18. Love your post. I am currently in a ldr and one thing I kept forgetting was looking after myself. It is super important.
    I would probably also add finding things to do together while at a distance. As I think that helped my relationship when at it’s lowest

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    • Hi there……it is so stressful and challenging to be in an LDR. It’s nice to do things that relax your mind and makes you happy:) I totally agree that finding things to do together while at a distance helps a lot. We used to FaceTime and watched the same Netflix movie or documentary. That’s our “movie date” (with popcorn and soda) even if we were miles apart…..

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